Thursday, April 30, 2009
On Saturday, May 2nd it will be our 6 year wedding anniversary. As some of you may know, Gerald and I met on Yahoo Personals. 3 weeks after our first date we were engaged and 3 months later we were married. It has been a wonderful ride. I love you Gerald and forever will. Happy Anniversary Gerald! Love, Jennifer
The Path
Wouldn't it be wonderful if when we prayed asking God for direction in our lives that we would see something like this? Clear and direct, no options, no fretting over which way to go.You know the Bible says "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path" Ps 119:105. If we spend time in the Word and meditate on God's instructions, we can experience the joy of seeing clearly.
It is our choice whether we step forward in faith believing that God knows the best for us or to fumble through life, grumbling and feeling sorry for ourselves. I challenge you to wake up every morning and ask God what He wants you to do today. Ask Him what you can do for others, not what God and others can do for you.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
As The Stranger Appeared
Lit dimly by a single light
Chaotic sounds fill the night
Smells reflecting the edge of death
Grasping the throat, stifling every breath
Hands touching emptiness at every step
Along this path the stranger crept
Headed down this path, unclear
Is where self took a look in the mirror
The reflection though dimly lit
Is where self met the bottom of the pit
Upon the ground lay pieces of me
Disjointed and confused by reality
The stranger took the pieces one by one
Looked deep inside every one
Placing each piece where it was meant to be
Created an image I've longed to see
There in the pit of hell
I came to see myself so well
Though roughly shaped and scarred by shame
Each piece was placed on a heavenly plane
The stranger took another look at me
And smiled when he saw what I was meant to be
For the light began to shine
As the pieces created an image divine
A miracle took place that day
When the stranger looked my way
The light danced radiantly off my face
Shouts of joy filled this place
The smell of new birth filled the air
Tasting success as I learn to care
Touching the diamond the stranger compiled
He introduced me to myself.....
and the stranger smiled.
by Jennifer Schwartz 1998
Lit dimly by a single light
Chaotic sounds fill the night
Smells reflecting the edge of death
Grasping the throat, stifling every breath
Hands touching emptiness at every step
Along this path the stranger crept
Headed down this path, unclear
Is where self took a look in the mirror
The reflection though dimly lit
Is where self met the bottom of the pit
Upon the ground lay pieces of me
Disjointed and confused by reality
The stranger took the pieces one by one
Looked deep inside every one
Placing each piece where it was meant to be
Created an image I've longed to see
There in the pit of hell
I came to see myself so well
Though roughly shaped and scarred by shame
Each piece was placed on a heavenly plane
The stranger took another look at me
And smiled when he saw what I was meant to be
For the light began to shine
As the pieces created an image divine
A miracle took place that day
When the stranger looked my way
The light danced radiantly off my face
Shouts of joy filled this place
The smell of new birth filled the air
Tasting success as I learn to care
Touching the diamond the stranger compiled
He introduced me to myself.....
and the stranger smiled.
by Jennifer Schwartz 1998
Menopause - Bipolar - Recovery
Can you say that life isn't fair when you struggle with things that can cause us such great behavioral mood swings. You put those top three things together and what do you get? ME :)
Some of you have expressed some concern in regards to a couple of my entries to my blog. And, may I take this opportunity to say, I appreciate your concern and am so grateful to have you who love me and care for me so deeply.
I have always lived my life with my emotions on my shirtsleeve and this blog is not much different from my shirtsleeve. When I began this journey of blogging I wasn't quite sure what would become of my random writings. I do enjoy this even though some of my entries may be of the contemplative, serious, and thought provoking part of my brain, there will always be a mood swing to offset the seriousness of life. ;)
Most of you know of the struggles of my past, however let me say that without a doubt Jesus Christ has been my saving grace. Jesus is the reason I live! I have been taken from the pit and placed on a heavenly plane where grace abounds with the glory of the Lord!
I live each day with the promise of salvation through Jesus Christ and I live each day knowing that I am God's daughter.
I love you all,
Jennifer
Some of you have expressed some concern in regards to a couple of my entries to my blog. And, may I take this opportunity to say, I appreciate your concern and am so grateful to have you who love me and care for me so deeply.
I have always lived my life with my emotions on my shirtsleeve and this blog is not much different from my shirtsleeve. When I began this journey of blogging I wasn't quite sure what would become of my random writings. I do enjoy this even though some of my entries may be of the contemplative, serious, and thought provoking part of my brain, there will always be a mood swing to offset the seriousness of life. ;)
Most of you know of the struggles of my past, however let me say that without a doubt Jesus Christ has been my saving grace. Jesus is the reason I live! I have been taken from the pit and placed on a heavenly plane where grace abounds with the glory of the Lord!
I live each day with the promise of salvation through Jesus Christ and I live each day knowing that I am God's daughter.
I love you all,
Jennifer
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Terrill Steele's Birthday
Today is April 23rd and my favorite son's birthday. I love you Terrill and a GREAT BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY! From the day you were born your big round eyes have melted my heart. You have been a blessing in my heart forever. You are strong yet humble. You are funny yet sincere. You have a great personality and will always warm the hearts of anyone you come close to. I thank God for giving me the most beautiful gift of a son. My "Buckwheat" - I love you forever. Mom
Perception
I have written several articles about perceptions in regards to life's situations and low and behold, I am now needing to hear my own teaching. So much in life can be broken down and remain stress free if we only keep things in proper perception.
My stress level has been off the charts and I have come close to reverting back to old behaviors to try and make me feel better. But, the thought process behind this is a lie. I need to remember that without God, I am useless. I have begun this day with prayer, thankful for the people God puts in my path, and trusting the Holy Spirit to lift me this day and allow me to "see" the positive in everything I say and do.
Thank you deeply to my friends and family that support me and encourage me to move forward and not give up. It is sometimes very difficult for me to remember my value in life, how God saved me from a life ruined and gave me new life. That my live and my body today are not mine but God's. I give my mind, emotions and will over to my Heavenly Father today. As the song says, "Jesus, take the wheel".
I love you all!
My stress level has been off the charts and I have come close to reverting back to old behaviors to try and make me feel better. But, the thought process behind this is a lie. I need to remember that without God, I am useless. I have begun this day with prayer, thankful for the people God puts in my path, and trusting the Holy Spirit to lift me this day and allow me to "see" the positive in everything I say and do.
Thank you deeply to my friends and family that support me and encourage me to move forward and not give up. It is sometimes very difficult for me to remember my value in life, how God saved me from a life ruined and gave me new life. That my live and my body today are not mine but God's. I give my mind, emotions and will over to my Heavenly Father today. As the song says, "Jesus, take the wheel".
I love you all!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The 911 Call
Ooo boy, Gerald might not like me sharing this but it is so funny. So if you are out there honey, don't get mad. I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you.
Sunday morning at 7:30 AM I am still in bed, but Gerald is peeking out the window at a young man that walked up to the neighbor's truck and appeared to be staring in the window. When the young man walks over to the next house and does the same thing, Gerald decides something is fishy and calls 911 to report a suspicious person. As Gerald is on the phone he decides to go outside and check him out a bit more. Now picture this, Gerald is in his pajamas (and you would laugh at just seeing them). He is out in the driveway peeking around his pickup truck and talking to the 911 dispatcher. (Can you say "Mrs. Cravitz" -those of you who watched Bewitched will understand this).
All of a sudden Gerald was startled as he heard someone behind him. He turned around and there stood this young Mennonite girl holding her hand out to shake hands with him. He shook hands with her, took the tract she was handing out and she walked away. Meanwhile the 911 dispatcher is confused, Gerald says, "It was the Mennonites handing out tracts." I bet the dispatcher was rolling on the floor laughing.
Okay, just to be fair and not pick on Gerald I also have a 911 call to share. One night Gerald was gone overnight somewhere. I have a routine where I make sure all the doors are locked and I am safe. I had just fallen asleep - it was around 11 pm. All of a sudden I woke up because I heard someone opening up one of my doors. Rocky started to bark and I freaked out. Not sure what to do, I laid there for a minute. I was scared crapless. I decided to grab the flashlight and check things out. I left the lights off and started to walk through the dark house. When I turned the flashlight on, it was one of those newfangled do-hickies and it began to flash on and off bright red. I am panicking because I am trying to hide in case someone is in the house. I decided to call 911. The dispatcher sent a squad on the way, while on the phone with the dispatcher, I was sneaking around in the house trying to see anything. A bit later I saw the police drive past the house and up the road. He turned around and parked a bit down the road. Curious I decided I would open the front door and see what he was doing. In the meantime I am still chatting with the dispatcher. When I opened the front door, the weekly advertising newspaper fell to my feet. I was so embarrassed. I said to the dispatcher, it must have been the newspaper lady delivering the paper. Oops! The cop comes and talks to me and I felt like a total idiot!
Can you imagine what those dispatchers must hear from time to time.
Sunday morning at 7:30 AM I am still in bed, but Gerald is peeking out the window at a young man that walked up to the neighbor's truck and appeared to be staring in the window. When the young man walks over to the next house and does the same thing, Gerald decides something is fishy and calls 911 to report a suspicious person. As Gerald is on the phone he decides to go outside and check him out a bit more. Now picture this, Gerald is in his pajamas (and you would laugh at just seeing them). He is out in the driveway peeking around his pickup truck and talking to the 911 dispatcher. (Can you say "Mrs. Cravitz" -those of you who watched Bewitched will understand this).
All of a sudden Gerald was startled as he heard someone behind him. He turned around and there stood this young Mennonite girl holding her hand out to shake hands with him. He shook hands with her, took the tract she was handing out and she walked away. Meanwhile the 911 dispatcher is confused, Gerald says, "It was the Mennonites handing out tracts." I bet the dispatcher was rolling on the floor laughing.
Okay, just to be fair and not pick on Gerald I also have a 911 call to share. One night Gerald was gone overnight somewhere. I have a routine where I make sure all the doors are locked and I am safe. I had just fallen asleep - it was around 11 pm. All of a sudden I woke up because I heard someone opening up one of my doors. Rocky started to bark and I freaked out. Not sure what to do, I laid there for a minute. I was scared crapless. I decided to grab the flashlight and check things out. I left the lights off and started to walk through the dark house. When I turned the flashlight on, it was one of those newfangled do-hickies and it began to flash on and off bright red. I am panicking because I am trying to hide in case someone is in the house. I decided to call 911. The dispatcher sent a squad on the way, while on the phone with the dispatcher, I was sneaking around in the house trying to see anything. A bit later I saw the police drive past the house and up the road. He turned around and parked a bit down the road. Curious I decided I would open the front door and see what he was doing. In the meantime I am still chatting with the dispatcher. When I opened the front door, the weekly advertising newspaper fell to my feet. I was so embarrassed. I said to the dispatcher, it must have been the newspaper lady delivering the paper. Oops! The cop comes and talks to me and I felt like a total idiot!
Can you imagine what those dispatchers must hear from time to time.
Laughing Out Loud - Only in Minnesota
I had to laugh -
I just got home from work and was carrying groceries in from the car. As I grabbed my last load I looked over and there in my back seat was a snow scraper and right next to it an umbrella. (big belly laugh) Only in Minnesota - have a super duper day!
I just got home from work and was carrying groceries in from the car. As I grabbed my last load I looked over and there in my back seat was a snow scraper and right next to it an umbrella. (big belly laugh) Only in Minnesota - have a super duper day!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Dancing With Life
I have experienced a day where memories flooded in and mesmerized me with the thoughts of how our lives change paths.
Spring brings new birth, the sounds of the birds, the sounds of the "peepers", the smell of the earth heaving the frost, the smell of new growth, the flowers breaking their way through the soil and the blessing of warm sunshine on my face.
I took in all these lovely things today and then hung my head in shame for I feel so unworthy. My God where have I gone. I need you Lord, oh I need you. Blessed be the Lord, for you are worthy. I am the lamb that has wandered.
And Jesus says, come to the water and stand by my side, you won't be discouraged, you won't be denied. I felt every tear drop whenever you cried and I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.
Father in Heaven, take my hand and lead me beside the still waters, restore my soul, fill my cup to overflowing. Help me reach out to people with the Good News of Salvation. Let the words I deliver be empowered by The Holy Spirit. Amen
Spring brings new birth, the sounds of the birds, the sounds of the "peepers", the smell of the earth heaving the frost, the smell of new growth, the flowers breaking their way through the soil and the blessing of warm sunshine on my face.
I took in all these lovely things today and then hung my head in shame for I feel so unworthy. My God where have I gone. I need you Lord, oh I need you. Blessed be the Lord, for you are worthy. I am the lamb that has wandered.
And Jesus says, come to the water and stand by my side, you won't be discouraged, you won't be denied. I felt every tear drop whenever you cried and I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.
Father in Heaven, take my hand and lead me beside the still waters, restore my soul, fill my cup to overflowing. Help me reach out to people with the Good News of Salvation. Let the words I deliver be empowered by The Holy Spirit. Amen
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Blogging.....
I love to blog, I do, I do......
But.....I have been so blue....
Pray for me and I for you....
God's faithfulness with shine through!
But.....I have been so blue....
Pray for me and I for you....
God's faithfulness with shine through!
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