The days have seem to fly by without a chance for me to embrace a quality of life that resembles anything of where I was 6 months ago. It frustrates me at times, but I know it is for a season and soon I will have to let this event pass. Things will go back to 'normal' (we all know that term is relevant) so maybe a better choice of words would be back to the way things were. I wonder actually if the time I am spending now doing something that I would consider as close to taking a college course and an internship at the same time is really much different.
On a side note, right now my dog, Gracie, a beautiful black lab seems to think that her resting place for her head is across my left hand so I am struggling to type. Heaven forbid I move her she may then attempt a more appealing spot which would be in my lap, thus creating a complete loss of the ability to type. Grace is beginning to snore so I guess I just keep typing, the movement of my left hand is probably creating the same effect as if I was rocking her. Good grief. Do I need to also sing a lullaby?
So I know some things have to change as my self care has deteriorated and of course it is I who is suffering the consequences which in turn is lowering my self-esteem in that I had been working so hard at weight loss and exercise. As an addict reaches for the bottle, I have reached to food.
Tonight though I have a plan, a plan to stop fighting and start utilizing my precious time. My days are numbered by the Lord and I pray that I stop fighting the stress in my life which in turn is killing me and embrace my God given ability to live each day to the fullest. To remember that my God is in control and that through God all things are possible. I will find my rest in God alone.
I will take this precious time to use the ministry that God has given me and believe that everything else will fall into place. There are some in my life that are upset or concerned about me because of the energy I am putting into this change, but is some of that selfishness on their part? Are they missing something that I used to provide for them? If so, I wish they could see that maybe I could use some help now instead of saying things that I take as an admonishment. I don't know the answer to that for some that have expressed concern. For my husband, yes, he is affected but he has also taken on this situation and it is changing his life. We are not together as much as husband and wife, we are working on that as some respite is due very soon. But he knows we are doing what God has called us to do.
In my title, Precious Time, I can only say that my grandson Austin living with us for this season is that precious time. I will never get it back.
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